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What You Need to Know to Compute or Surf the 'Net

Opinions from Michael Dortch
Oct. 17, 1995

If you or those around you are influenced at all by the hype by which we are all now constantly surrounded, you and/or they believe steadfastly that the Internet and the World Wide Web are just a click away. You and/or they also believe there's a world of fun and profit out there, just waiting for your mouse click.

And you and they are right. Sort of. And some assembly is required. And no one ever makes that clear enough until its WAY too late.

Ever since I was thrust into the computing/networking punditocracy, there's been one question more popular than any other directed at me. It usually comes down to "What skills do I need to become a PC/LAN/Internet/Web user?" Herewith, my latest and perhaps final take on a universal answer to this question, which is the question most users must answer successfully before they can begin exploring and evaluating their computers, software and the Information SuperHypeWay intelligently.

If you're a novice (or "newbie," a term I hate almost as much as those on whom it is conferred by what I guess are "oldbies"), this will help you directly. If you're one of those knowledgeable users always questioned by your friends and colleagues, this will help you remember what you know that they don't. If you think it will help, just give them a copy.

DORTCH'S TOP TEN LIST OF SKILLS YOU NEED TO USE A COMPUTER AND/OR SURF THE 'NET

1. Learn to speed-type. This is what used to be called touch- typing, until someone realized some of us look at the keyboard whether we need to or not. Despite the mouse, the track ball and every other type of "pointing device," the keyboard is still where the rubber meets the road when you're trying to get something done with a computer, on or off the Web. You don't want to have to stop and figure out the steps in the middle of a dance, and you don't want to have to stop and remember where the "tilde" key is when you're in the middle of composing a killer e-mail or browsing for Beavis and Butthead Web sites.

2. Learn to write succinctly and articulately. Nothing makes a great first impression faster than messages that are badly written, badly spelled, incorrectly punctuated, overly long or otherwise screamingly frustrating to read. (I know -- I used to get at least five news releases a day from computing and networking vendors, and it was a rare day when there weren't at least three Stupid Editor Tricks among them.)

3. Learn to spell and edit. See above. And remember, spell- checking software may tell you the word's spelled right, but not if it's the right word. That's why more and more newspaper stories end up with brain-dead mistakes like "caught in a vice-like grip" or "the disaster didn't phase the local residents." (Yes, they're both wrong as shown. Look it up.)

4. Learn to install hardware. See, unless your system's brand new and came with everything you'll ever need pre-installed, you're gonna have to connect something to it someday. You definitely want to have had this experience at least once before tackling getting onto the Internet or the World Wide Web. And no matter what the ads and marketeers tell you, it's gonna give you problems at least once, if not every once in a while.

5. Learn to install software. Every piece of hardware usually requires that you install software to make it work. If you're an experienced user, you'd be amazed how few casual users have ever actually installed any software and configured it "from scratch." This means they've never encountered configuration scripts or preferences files, either. (It's amazing how much you've forgotten you had to learn at one time or another, isn't it?)

6. Learn how to deal with and/or do without vendor-provided support. Many users have never experienced the joy of being put on hold for an hour while paying for the call themselves. And still fewer of them have enough knowledge or experience seek out or use alternatives like on-line or fax-back support, without help. It's like not being able to find something in a library, not knowing there's a card catalog or Dewey Decimal System, not knowing how to use either of the latter, and not knowing you don't know the above.

7. Learn to make a modem and its software work with your system. Those who have done it have already read all they need to begin shaking their heads ruefully. For the rest of you, find someone who's done it, and listen carefully to everything they say. It's all true. The modem/communications software combination is still the most consistently frustrating thing to get working among the non-expert users I've encountered -- even those who bought CD-ROM drives.

8. Learn how to download software. Also what "download" and "software" mean, and the differences between "files" and "programs." Also what "utilities" and "helper applications" are. Also ...

9. Learn how to pick an on-ramp to the Internet/Web and how to get on it. The hell with what technology bigots tell you here. If you get a "free 10 hours" offer from CompuServe, America Online or Prodigy, and you've been thinking about exploring one of these services anyway, and you can deal with what it takes to access the Internet/the Web via one or more of them, get on the 'net that way.

(I use Netscape on a Macintosh, and access the Web via the CompuServe network because (1) it's now relatively cheap, (2) I can use Netscape, the best browser software I've found, (3) CompuServe doesn't force me to use their browser, like America Online and Prodigy do, (4) I can get on the 'net from wherever I am, usually with a local phone call, and (5) I get one bill for my Web-surfing and use of the CompuServe Information Service itself, on which my company has a presence.

(I've also used America Online's built-in browser, when I've been on AOL anyway -- but their Mac browser's incredibly terrible, especially compared to the Windows version, so far ...)

10. Learn to use the technology to help you understand and take advantage of the technology. This is why all good Web browser programs come with on-screen buttons that take you directly to tools for searching the Web for information you seek or help you need -- even to get the browser software working. My Lovely Wife, who is computer-literate but Internet-unfamiliar, got crankin' with Netscape in far less time than it took either of us to figure out how to create, print and save a one-page memo with Microsoft Word all those years ago ...


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